Truth vs. Lie: The Myth of the Perfect Healer

Let’s just get this out of the way right now: being on a healing, spiritual, or growth path does not magically turn you into a perfectly calm, always-smiling, softly-speaking enlightened unicorn who drinks green juice and never loses their cool.

If it did, I would like a refund… or at least an instruction manual. Preferably laminated.

Somewhere along the way, a stigma crept into the healing and spiritual community. A quiet but heavy expectation that once you’re on the path, you should “know better.” And if something triggers you, hurts you, pisses you off, or brings out an old pattern, then clearly you’ve failed at healing.

Let me lovingly say this: that’s a lie.

So let’s play a little Truth vs. Lie—because sometimes laughter, honesty, and a little loving side-eye are part of the healing too.

Lie: If you’re on a healing or spiritual path, you shouldn’t get mad

Truth: You’re human. You have a nervous system. And Jesus Himself flipped tables—so let’s stop pretending anger automatically means you’re unhealed.

Being spiritual doesn’t mean you float above life in a constant state of peace. It means you notice your emotions. It means you might feel anger—and instead of pretending it’s not there, you ask what it’s trying to tell you.

You can be healed and pissed. You can pray and need a moment. Both can coexist.

Both can exist at the same time.

Lie: You don’t go back to old patterns

Truth: Oh, you absolutely can.

The difference? You usually recognize them faster, take responsibility sooner, and don’t unpack, redecorate, and live there rent-free.

Healing isn’t about never repeating a pattern—it’s about awareness.

It’s about saying, “Ahh… there you are. Okay. Let’s deal with this.”

Progress doesn’t mean perfection. It means response over reaction (most days).

Lie: You can’t have boundaries—or you’ve “changed”

Truth: Boundaries are a sign of growth.

Yes, you’ve changed. That’s literally the point. Healing changes your frequency. (And yes—around here we talk about vibration for a reason.)

Healing often makes people uncomfortable—not because you’re doing something wrong, but because you’re no longer abandoning yourself to keep others comfortable.

If setting boundaries suddenly makes you “difficult,” “different,” or “too much,” congratulations—you’re probably doing something right.

Lie: Healers should always take the high road

Truth: Accountability goes both ways.

There’s this sneaky belief that if someone hurts you, it’s automatically your job to process it, heal it, pray about it, journal it, breathe through it, and move on—while the person who did the harm doesn’t have to own a single thing.

Yes, we are responsible for our healing.

No, that does not excuse harmful behavior from others.

Healing doesn’t mean tolerating disrespect. It doesn’t mean spiritual bypassing. And it definitely doesn’t mean letting people off the hook because you’re “the healed one.”

Lie: You don’t cuss, eat the “bad foods,” get nervous, yell, judge, or have an ego

Truth: Have you met a human before?

Sometimes we cuss. (Yes, even the ones who love Jesus.)

Sometimes we eat the cookie.

Sometimes we get nervous, defensive, loud, or judgmental.

Sometimes our ego shows up uninvited.

And guess what? God made us imperfect on purpose. If perfection was the goal, grace wouldn’t be necessary.

Contrast is part of life. Light only exists because dark does too. We are here to experience, to learn, to stumble, to laugh at ourselves, and to keep going.

This moment—right now—has never existed before. We’ve never lived this version of life until now.

Could something be a lesson because you didn’t “learn it” last time? Sure.

Or maybe it’s just another layer.

Either way—keep learning.

The real truth

Healing doesn’t make you less human—it makes you more aware. More embodied. More honest about where your energy, emotions, and spirit actually are.

It makes you more honest.

It teaches you to own your stuff, learn from it, and grow with it—something I tell my kids often:

Own it. Learn from it. Grow with it.

So can we give ourselves a little grace? Maybe check our own vibration before judging someone else’s moment?

And maybe extend some to our neighbors, our families, and each other too?

Because if there’s one thing I know for sure—it’s that God gives us plenty of grace.

And we’re all just humans, doing our best, navigating this life one imperfect, beautiful moment at a time.