When Discernment Speaks Louder Than Curiosity

My Personal Reflection After Reiki Training

I want to begin this by saying something very clearly:

This blog is not written from a place of judgment, fear, superiority, or condemnation toward anyone who practices Reiki, receives Reiki, or finds meaning within it.

This is simply my own personal experience, my own spiritual discernment, and the ways I felt God speaking to me throughout a very unexpected weekend.

I also want to acknowledge that many people enter energetic modalities with beautiful intentions. Most people are simply searching for peace, healing, connection, nervous system support, or deeper understanding of themselves. I genuinely believe many hearts are sincere in that pursuit.

This reflection is not about attacking people.

It is about honoring conviction.

And maybe, for some of you reading this, it may help bring language to feelings or questions you’ve quietly been carrying too.

Why I Decided to Attend Reiki Training

This past weekend, I attended a Reiki Level 1 & 2 Certification training.

For those unfamiliar, Reiki is generally described as an energetic modality where practitioners work with energy and intention to support relaxation, balance, and the body’s natural ability to heal itself. I want to make that distinction clearly because I personally do not believe people “heal” other people. The body is incredibly intelligent, and many modalities simply create supportive spaces for regulation, awareness, intention, and restoration.

Going into the training, my heart posture truly mattered to me.

Before I even stepped into the building, I had a conversation with God and prayed something along the lines of:

“Lord, I am doing this in YOUR name. Please help me receive whatever knowledge You want me to receive from this experience.”

At the time, I thought that knowledge might look like learning a new modality to support others alongside sound, prayer, and nervous system work.

But God had something entirely different in mind.

When My Spirit Started Saying “Pause”

During the first day of training, something felt… off.

Not dramatic.
Not fearful.
Just deeply unsettling in a way I couldn’t ignore.

Midway through the class, I became unbelievably tired. Not normal tired. I mean the kind of exhaustion where I could barely concentrate or process information. At first, I became frustrated with myself because I genuinely wanted to stay engaged and learn.

That evening, the instructor encouraged us to begin looking over Reiki Level 2 materials to prepare for the next day.

But as I read through certain things, I felt a very clear internal pause.

Something inside me simply wasn’t sitting right.

I tried to reason through it at first. I wondered if maybe I was overthinking, being too sensitive, or misunderstanding something. But the more I tried to push past it, the stronger the feeling became.

And honestly, I think many of us know what that feels like.

That moment where your spirit quietly says:
“Pay attention.”

The Conversation That Changed Everything

The next day confirmed things even more deeply for me.

As certain teachings and concepts came up, I physically felt my body freeze. Interestingly enough, the instructor herself also began openly questioning contradictions within some of the material. There were moments where she paused and admitted that parts of it felt misleading or inconsistent.

That honesty opened the door for a really meaningful conversation between us.

I shared openly that the work I do through sound is deeply connected to my faith. That my desire is not to “be” someone’s healer, savior, or source — but to create spaces where people can slow down, reconnect with themselves, regulate their nervous systems, experience prayer, encounter God’s love, and feel supported.

I told her:
I simply want to make heaven crowded by helping people understand the love of Christ more deeply.

I also shared that I hold no judgment toward people with different beliefs or practices. I know what personally aligns for me, and I trust that God will continue guiding me where He wants me to go.

By the end of our conversation, we both agreed I would not continue with Reiki Level 2.

And surprisingly… she also shared that she no longer felt aligned with continuing to teach it herself.

That moment honestly shook me a little.

Not out of fear.
But out of awe.

Because I could see God moving through honest discernment and open conversation in real time.

The Gratitude I Didn’t Expect

At first, I almost felt guilty leaving.

I thought:
“Did I waste my time?”
“Did I make the wrong decision?”
“Should I have just pushed through?”

But after sitting with everything, I realized something really important:

The experience was not wasted.

It actually gave me clarity I could not have received any other way.

Sometimes discernment does not come through avoidance.
Sometimes it comes through education, experience, prayer, and paying attention to what stirs in your spirit.

I now feel even more grounded in the direction God is leading me personally.

And honestly?
There is so much peace in that.

I’m grateful I went.
I’m grateful I listened.
And I’m grateful I trusted the pause instead of overriding it.

Discernment Is Not Judgment

I really want to emphasize this part because I know these conversations can become emotionally charged online very quickly.

Choosing not to participate in something personally does not automatically mean condemning everyone else who does.

Discernment and judgment are not the same thing.

I can lovingly say:
“This no longer aligns for me”
without needing to shame someone else for their choices.

That distinction matters deeply to me.

I believe God meets people in many different places throughout their journeys. I also believe conviction can be deeply personal.

For me, this weekend clarified that I do not personally want to receive Reiki or offer Reiki moving forward.

And that is okay.

What I’m Taking With Me Instead

What I’m walking away with is actually something far more valuable than another certification.

I’m walking away with stronger discernment.
Deeper trust in God.
And greater confidence in the work He already placed in front of me.

I do not need to force paths that are not mine to carry.

The work I feel called to do is simple:

Creating spaces of presence.
Prayer.
Sound.
Stillness.
Nervous system support.
And reminders that people are deeply loved by God.

That feels aligned.
That feels peaceful.
That feels honest.

And honestly… I’m incredibly grateful for the entire experience because it helped reveal that more clearly than ever before.

If this reflection resonates with you in any way, my encouragement is simple:

Pray.
Stay curious.
Stay grounded.
And listen carefully when your spirit says pause.

Sometimes God speaks the loudest through discernment we didn’t expect. 🤍